Q: When Is A Sex Toy Not A Sex Toy?

Marketing has several cornerstones – targeted relevance, personal contact, customer service, the hallowed spin of the Rolodex… and sex.

And there are just times when something is so obvious, when it stares you in the face, when the innuendo is obvious, glorious and hilarious…

Yet no-one will squeak, publicly anyway. It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes.

A: When it’s a rocket

1978, the Forbidden Planet rocket was launched from a little comic book store in Denmark Street, London – a store still remembered with great fondness by many of my Twitter friends. It’s a street of music shops now – but it still has a bohemian feel that hearkens back to the chilled out, long-hair-and-bell-bottoms memories we have of those times.

In 1988, to commemorate the move from Denmark Street to New Oxford Street in the West End, Forbidden Planet commissioned acclaimed artist Rian Hughes to create the now-world-famous rocket logo and typeface.

In 2008, when Forbidden Planet celebrated its 30th anniversary, we decided to celebrate the New Age of Geek by fusing our long past with today’s street-smart, contemporary art – how better to tie the old with the new than to recreate the cult classic Forbidden Planet rocket in hot, Urban Vinyl 3D?

In 2009, a worldwide exclusive of 350 pieces, the realisation of this fusion has been designed by 3D vinyl artist Matt ‘Lunartik’ JOnes.

And it’s fantastic.

Lunartik’s has also done his own ‘banana’ variant – and signed it!

I know – you know, we all know – that it looks like a toy of a slightly different persuasion (you should see some of the Direct Messages I’ve received via Twitter!). And not only online – it’s caused many behind-closed-doors, unrepeatable comments in the Titan House office.

But y’know what? Aside from the sexiness of a genuine 3D Brand, they work because of their insinuation. They’re perfect urban vinyl – daring, contentious, suggestive, genius.

We have them right here, right now and they – you know I have to say this – absolutely rock!

The David Gemmell Legend Award

It’s been a long time since I had the opportunity to dig out long frock and war-paint and head out to sparkle – and where better to exhibit such bravery than the David Gemmell Legend Award, hosted at the headquarters of The Magic Circle last Friday evening.

It was a beautifully structured event, slotted neatly together on every level of pre-preparation - and flawlessly timed on the evening itself. Fronted by the tirelessness of Debbie Miller, the experience of Stan Nicholls and the shameless in-your-face wit of James Barclay, the presentation still retained a slightly self-conscious sincerity that a larger, more established event would have lost. It was both touching and memorable; its humour completely honest.

Surrounded by the magic – and I mean the word – of the venue, the Award offered everything to touch our memories of David. Baby Snagas were offered to all five nominees – but they paled (oh did they!) beside the Raven Armouries interpretation of the Real Thing. I’ve waited twenty years to get my hands on Druss’ hardware – and apparently not in vain. It would have been against the idealistic tone of the Award to have tucked it under my frock and raced out the door with it… and, besides, I think they might have noticed…

The event was smaller than I’d guessed – but it showed a flawless ability to visualise and a genuine flair for bringing separate elements together to make it a huge success. From the gorgeous invites to the perfect canapés, from the sparkling eveningwear to the shining weapons, from the auction to the Award – it was all about the true heart of Heroic Fantasy. More than anything, it reminds us why we love the genre, why we read and/or write it, and why it holds a special place in our hearts.

Edmund Burke said, ‘All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing’ – a quote used by David Gemmell in ‘Legend’ and recited by James Barclay at the opening of the Award presentation. Courage and triumph are ultimately intensely personal – however, the chance to stand and thank someone else is just as important as achieving your own.

More so.

Congratulations to Andrzej Sapkowski for ‘Blood of the Elves’, winner of the first David Gemmell Legend Award. May there be many more novels from his pen, and many more Award ceremonies as heartfelt and sincere as that one.

Footage from the Forbidden Planet

You know that saying - put your money where your mouth is?

This blog has contained wa-ay too much ranting about the industry embracing new forms of media and communication - and, frankly, not enough of me shutting up and getting on with it.

It seems that - with a little judicious prodding - the Forbidden Planet rocket can fly with the times.


China Miéville reading from The City & The City




The Truth about the Wasabi Peas - starring Alex Bell, Jaine Fenn and Suzanne McLeod





Mark Charan Newton talking about Nights of Villjamur




The first two of these were shot by the wonderful @NeilCFord; the last one teaches me that I really need to learn some proper interview techniques... :)

Look out for more of these to come!

David Eddings - and Dreaming Big

This is a cheeky repost from John de Nardo’s recent Mind Meld over on SF Signal. It’s here because I’ve had a sentence from it actually quoted by two of my twitter friends today – and (rather more seriously) in the light of the tragic loss of David Eddings – a man who wrote fantasy because he was a ‘pessimist’.

Q: Why do you think there is an imbalance towards a negative futuristic outlook? How did we get here and how has this affected the genre? Can you give some examples of positive/upbeat ideas in your genre?

Call me a starry-eyed idealist, but I find little negative about the genre. It can be mundane, certainly, but negative? That’s another thing entirely.

The SFFEthics mission statement wording runs, ‘We aim to leave cynicism and negativity at the door, and concentrate on what makes us smile, what entertains us…’ Accentuating the positive doesn’t need to imply that we’re surrounded by the wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

I have a very singular job – arguably, the only one of its kind. Standing for the largest specialist geek/cult/sf retailer in the world, everything I am is about celebrating the genre. Not just the literature – the ideas and creativity contained within – but the people who write it, read it and critique it. With every signing comes a celebration of that author’s work and of their fanbase – I’ve stopped counting the people who’ve driven miles to meet someone, who bring treasured first editions, who – quite literally – cry as they’re overcome by the presence of a writer who’s changed their life.

Isn’t that what we’re celebrating?

What’s positive about the genre? Everything. In the current financial climate, sales of genre literature are rising; people need escapism, new vistas and visions. And it’s not only books – it’s comics, RPGs, computer games. Our reality becomes bleaker – give us the fantastical. Give us other worlds; give us creatures of imagination that lurk beneath the surface of our own.

Popular culture doesn’t challenge us – soap operas serve only to grind it in our faces. At its height, it offers us – what? – a vicarious dream of potential celebrity, even as the media exults in tearing that celebrity down. This is what we have to aim for? I think we can do better.

Completely randomly, on the table by my elbow I have:

• Andy Remic’s Biohell
• David Devereux’s Hunter’s Moon
• David Moody’s Hater
• Liam Sharp’s God Killers
• Mark Charan Newton’s Nights of Villjamur
• Patrick Rothfuss’ The Name of the Wind
• Tony Ballantyne’s Twisted Metal

Some I’ve read, some await that long, claustrophobic commute – and there’s an image to iconise the point. The science fiction, fantasy, horror genre takes us out of ourselves; opens our eyes and minds to a wider picture.

To achieve, one has to dream. To dream, one has to read. And the genre we read enables us, if we wish to, to dream big.

That, in itself, is a cause for celebration.


David Eddings dreamed big – the ‘Belgariad’ was a cornerstone of the fantasy genre. Thank you to Liz and Michael for the quote… but I’m sure he would have said it better.

The Name of the Author: Patrick Rothfuss

There are times when signings are just not what you expect.

When fantasy author Patrick Rothfuss posted on his blog that he was coming to the UK, both FP and I were inundated with requests – even before I’d picked up the phone to talk about an event.

Enter a writer whose effect on his fanbase was among the most powerful I’ve ever seen.

Upon first look, you half-expect Mister Rothfuss to be a real ale drinker, socks under his sandals and a chunky knit sweater; Gods know, he may even be filking before the evening is out. When he gets behind the signing counter, however, he proves that he has comedy, presence, vivacity and a kind of hearty sincerity that only an American can get away with.

He refuses to write random quotes in people’s books – here’s a man with a 250,000 word novel, written across 15 years, saying he can’t be brilliant ‘on the spur’. He cuddles random bloggers, pulls faces as his picture’s taken; he has an evil laugh and a wicked sense of humour – he’ll write relationship advice, he says, and if it’s anything like his writing advice, then I feel the owner of the book would be well-advised to follow it.

The air is warm, the queue is bubbling with enthusiasm, kept laughing by Pat’s quips. His readers are overwhelmed by him, gentle as he is – one couple love the book so much they ask him to dedicate it to ‘Anara’, their unborn child. And he returns their affection – this picture by Lucy Artiss captures one of the novel’s characters so vividly, you realise the remarkable relationship this writer has with his readers goes both ways.

We adjourn to the Phoenix for a Q&A – where he proves he’s not only writer, charismatic leader and agony uncle, he’s also stand-up comic. He starts on the masturbation of poetry (or was that the poetry of masturbation?) and the finer details of monkey-love… I’m sure Kvothe never told Chronicler anything like that.

Monkeys aside, he talks about the craft of writing – some wondrous insights, too many to list here. The difference between writing and editing and the poignant change in attitude that comes with publication – both from others, and from yourself. Suddenly, as we all discover at some point, it isn’t fun any more.

But you do it anyway – because you have to.

The thing that touches me is a simple one – one of the earliest ‘101’ pieces of advice any writer is given. No, not ‘face the cold page’ (though that was there too) but ‘write what you know’. Sod that, says Patrick Rothfuss, ‘write what you don’t’. What you know has become tarnished; you’ve seen it first thing in the morning, you’ve seen it dirty and broken down. What you don’t know is like the high-school crush you never got to snog – it’ll always be beautiful. Take that passion – that belief in its beauty – and write.

I had to ‘fess up that I hadn’t actually read ‘Name of the Wind’ – it’s been many years since I could read classic high fantasy without an autodump from my cynicism gland – but this is a writer who may yet make me change my mind.

His secret? ‘Don’t video me’, he says, ‘this is my front room, and you are all my friends’.

To coin a phrase – his name is Patrick Rothfuss. You may have heard of him.

Ethics Girl - New Blog Launches!

What’s this? SF/F has ethics? Aside from wondering where they came from – and how they snuck in without anyone seeing – one looks around suspiciously to point an accusing finger.

In fact, SFFEthics is a new blog on the launch-pad, piloted (perhaps ironically) by an author infamous for his hardcore sex and violence. Proving you should never judge a man by his prose, Andy Remic has gathered together a gaggle of authors who want to celebrate the best about the genre. Why we love it, why we’re compelled to read and write it, why we want to celebrate everything that’s good about sf, fantasy and horror.

I’m faintly alarmed to find Andy enthusing, “If we can get all the associated writers together at a convention and suitably drunk on a cocktail of cheap Scandinavian meths, Stella and absinthe, we can also expect a movie! Watch this space!”


I don’t know which worries me more, the fact that such a thing could quite possibly happen at a Convention near you… or the fact that (yes, you guessed it) my name is a part of that above-mentioned gaggle.

(What was the collective noun for authors, again?)

Seriously, though, I’m flattered to be asked; to be a part of something with a mission statement that’s hand-in-gauntlet with everything I keep ranting about – that change is good, that forward is the way to go and that some parts of this industry need to seriously shake the dust!

Check out SFFEthics for the full mission statement and the list of the authors involved.

I guess this means I’m an Ethics Girl?

Twitterstream of Consciousness

The first rule of Twitter – and I mean real Twitter not celebrity Twitter or marketing opportunist Twitter – is ‘be yourself’.

While I may front Forbidden Planet, it’s never occurred to me to be anything else – it’s a Twitterstream of Consciousness; I don’t (probably rather obviously!) think before I tweet.

This week has seen my partner’s carpentry driving me round the twist and a certain TechDigest article listing the UK’s most prolific tweeters… in the light of both, I find myself suddenly – horrors! – self-conscious. Maybe even twelf-conscious.

Twitter has another rule, more ambiguous and subtle – it’s probably listed on a dozen Newbie Twitter Guides under ‘positive mental attitude’. I’m calling it ‘don’t be unhappy’. Be yourself, but by All The Gods Of New Media, don’t ever be miserable!

Well, fuck that; we all get stressed. To me, Twitter requires honesty – and forgiving that honesty in others. I’m not a Social Media Maven or a motivational speaker (for which you can be thankful). I’m Danie, and I defend my right to have crap days. And not to feel self-conscious about sending a tweet that isn’t sparkling with happiness.

As for TechDigest?

It’s odd seeing yourself under a microscope. The article made me laugh (I’m immoral? My mother reads the Daily Mail! I have a boring job? I’m not dignifying that with an answer!) Yes, I’m chatty, but that’s how the bonds of the community are built; that’s how connections are made, discoveries are shared – it's how the world is made smaller and how wonderful and unlikely friendships spring from 140 characters.

Having my Twitter presence – and those of my UK friends and neighbours – summarised in five lines is disturbing… is that one sample tweet really all my life has distilled down to?

I know it’s not – seeing myself scrutinised, bizarre though it is, isn’t going to change who I am.

In fact, it reminds me of a wonderful Twitter irony - and something that TechDigest has missed completely: -

Why is Twitter so full of chatter? Because when people are really busy, they don’t tend to tweet.

Funny, that.